Moderator attendance.

[Barry M Wheeler #2189]

Yesterday, I got a note from Bruce with a request. I suddenly realized that I hadn't had the Forum "up" for some time on the gaggle of sites that I leave on the listings at the top of my screen all the time.

The reason is simple. I've had to move Gay into Assisted Living some nine miles away. One evening, she found it impossible to stand up to go to bed, so I called 911 for some help. The EMTs quickly responded and suggested quite strongly that she be taken to the ER as she might have had a stroke.

They found that that was not the problem, but an X-Ray showed that she had fluid in the sac around her right lung, and also a lesion behind her sternum. After a few days, she had a liter of fluid drained, which might have been the problem with standing up, as I was assisting her by holding on to her right arm. (Like carrying a half gallon of milk around on your chest, possibly.)

When it came time for her to be discharged, her Dr. recommended a stay in a nursing home, so that's what we did. And now, we are working on a way for her to stay there permanently, as I'm getting feeble enough now that if I had a problem, I wouldn't be able to address her needs.

We are rearranging our lives and she seems to be getting along well there. We have decided to let nature take its course relative to her possible cancer, as several Dr. friends and her own Dr. have said that a biopsy would be painful and probably just a confirmation of the problem.

We have had 65 years together, and right now, I'm just getting used to an empty house.
So, that's why I haven't been around for a while. Lars stopped by last weekend to pick up my offerings for the Auction at the GN. Hopefully, I will make someone happy with the "good stuff" that I sent.

Best regards to all. BW.

[Bob Kielar]

Our prayers are with you and Gay.
Regards,
Bob and Diane Kielar

[Lexi]

My prayers are also with you and Gay. Assuming we all live long enough, that could happen to us all. While you might be alone in the house you will always have your Cadillac family here on the Forum. God Bless you and Gay. Don't be a stranger. We got lots of Cadillac/movie talk to chat about.    Clay/Lexi

[billyoung]

So sorry to hear of this. I am certain you are heartbroken. God Bless you both.

[Cadillac Jack 82]

Barry I'm so sorry.  I will keep you and Gay in my thoughts and prayers.  Life is too precious to worry about hobbies.  Loved ones always come first.

[Highwayman68]

Family first, we will still be here for you.

[Jeff Rosansky CLC #28373]

All the best.

[GregoryAlan]

Its not the end of the world Barry!

December 30th my dad fractured a vertebrae in his back and I had to move in with them to take care of them. Being a caregiver is a VERY difficult job. I moved the folks into an assisted living facility March 25th. It was a VERY difficult thing for dad to accept.

Mom has dementia and I'm not sure if she grasps what is really happening. Mom also spent the summer of '23 in the hospital with congestive heart failure. She too had a liter of fluid drained from the sac around her lung.

Mom did not react well to the hospital. Her ER doctor suggested I find her some palatine care to keep her out of the hospital. I talked to her GP and all North Memorial has to offer is hospice. Hospice is not at all what I expected. I always though hospice means the end. What I found out is it means more like comfort care, no more aggressive treatments.

The last visit with mom's hospice nurse she hinted that mom is going to graduate from hospice at her next evaluation. They call it graduate but I call it getting the boot because mom is not dying fast enough for Medicare.

I need more eyes on mom and dad then just mine!

It has only been 2 weeks but they both seem to be getting adjusted to their new living arrangement. They have a medical staff checking on them all day and having them manage the folks meds has taken a HUGE burden off my plate. I can concentrate on being a son and not a caregiver.

The folks were pretty much confined to home because they did not travel well. My folks are now among people suffering with the same issues as them so my folks are are not isolated anymore. Dad complains that he is now in jail but honest he is doing the same things he did at home, but he now has the opportunity to do more if he chooses.

Life has an expiration date. There is no getting around it. Is your glass half empty or half full. You can be my dad and live glass half empty and be miserable. I hope you see the high road. I hope my dad sees the high road before it is too late.

All the best to you and yours during this difficult time!
Know that you are in our prayers....

[Art Director]

Bless you, Barry, I sure miss chatting with you at Grand Nationals. I got only 27 years with Liz and it really hurt (still does) when she passed away. Best wishes to you and hope to see you at a GN again some day.