Does your car like you?

[Denise 20352]

  OK, Im a little bored.  Im moving to another department at work, was supposed to move Monday and they still dont have my office ready.  So Im sitting here with all of my stuff around me packed in cardboard boxes, without a lot to do.

  Something I was thinking about this morning as I drove my hearse to work.  Tony and I had a discussion about why I didnt like the 2004 Marquis, and after much thought, it occured to me that one of the reasons was that the car doesnt like me.  Every day, I grow more convinced that a car can feel love or hate for its owner.

  My hearse isnt beautiful because I did/am doing the upholstery myself, and Im no pro.  It also needs some body work.  However, its friendly, and it happily rolls down the road with me.  Like my dog, I give it lots of care and attention.  I pull the steering wheel into my lap and caress it with my thumb, and its happy  to go wherever I want to go. When I hit a bump, it says OUCH!, but it doesnt intentionally bump me back.  Like my dog, it is a homely, loving mutt that always wants to go for a ride with me.

  My 92 truck is like a horse.  Its trusty and dependable, and doesnt really like or dislike me, it just does what I tell it to do.

  Tonys Volvo is like a person from a foreign country that is very different from ours.  I dont really understand it, and I feel kind of uncomfortable around it.

  The 2004 hates me.  The steering wheel does not want to cooperate, is always fighting me, and threatens to explode in my hands.  The seats are hard and uncomfortable, and I get the feeling that it would really rather that I didnt sit in them.  When I drive it over a bumpy road, it gets angry and attacks me.  I cant wait to get where Im going and get out of this car, and I think that it feels the same way about me.

  The 76 New Yorker that I may have a chance of getting, I owned one once before, in the 80s, and I hope that this one, or the next one that I find, will be the same way.  It invites me to get in and snuggle with it, and I feel very welcome inside.  The seats wrap themselves around me and hug me.  Its steering wheel  puts itself into my lap, and it gently glides to my destination, being very careful not to jar me.  And of course it doesnt make any road noise, because it knows that I wouldnt like that.  When I arrive, it invites me to stay a while, relax and have a drink before I leave.

  OK, maybe Im a little too sensitive for my own good, but this is the way that I feel about cars.  Miles per gallon, safety features, horsepower and maintenance costs are just meaningless numbers to me, in comparison to how the car makes me feel.  

  There was a time when there were cars made for people like me.  They had names like Town Car, New Yorker, and Fleetwood Brougham.  There were playful cars like Eldorados and Toronados.  All was happy and well in the world of motoring.

  Then, the darkness came.  The happy, caring, feeling, cars were overrun by a race of evil plastic boxes.  The few who are left are suffering from the disease of rust, and being slaughtered by crushers.

  I allowed myself to be sucked into this black vortex.  I try not to blame myself because I had been in an auto accident, was tired, hurting and loaded up on Vicodin, but it really doesnt matter how it happened.  I have a monster living in my driveway, growling and hissing at me, and all I want to do is send it to hell where it belongs.

  Tony wouldnt understand.  He thinks that Im nuts.  Stampie thinks so too, but I think that people who buy new cars are the ones who have mental problems.

-densie

[Michael Stamps 19507]

LOL I dont think you are nuts.  Im firmly with you.  I talk to my cars and believe they talk back to me.  Ive always noticed that when I think of selling one they pout back and break something.  Were not crazy its the rest of the world that is.

Stampie

[dale jackson]

 Dont feel bad. I talk to my 1960 eldo basket case all time.

  Qustions I ask my 60 eldo

   1. Where did you come from and what happened to your parts or did your formor master wreck you bad and why to refuse to be so hard on me on trying find time or parts you need.

  2. I ask the 60 do you want an new life as driver becides just sitting in building for years like you have.

  3. Why did the master try save you all these years and have buy 20 of same parts you need where you can drive and again. Or what happened to your orinal parts you had when you were new.

 4. Do you want brand new floors or what i can do help you where you dont rust away like you have before. I am sorry you have rust cancer but the masters have tryed blast you and restore you back to your formoer self

 5. I know you good but what did you do to cause 3 other peaple to stop working on you.They made you an basket case.

  6. I sometimes tell you am sorry I cant fix you since I cant afford to fix you you good.

 7. I been trying hard to fix you but you need so much time and parts money I cant afford.

8. I been trying hard to find you new master to restore you. I have flooded the net with your photes and I have no luck on finding you an master since your so screwed up.

 9. I will try an again to help you and make you beter by throwing away you junk parts and trying again to sale more of your parts on ebay where I can buy you more parts to make you beter for an new master becides me.

 10. Your an famous 1960 eldo junk car on net. You have been flooded on net from over expouse numous times to new masters

11. You need an brand master or are you going stay with me to make my life harder again

  12. I am very sorry I sold your best freind the 62 eldo. I know you two cars has been with each for years in barn and building and have had the same master for 3 times. I truly sorry I had to divide you up. I pleased to tell your freind the 62 eldo is being restored in wheatland californa. I wish I could have kept you togethoer as freinds forever. Maybe some day you can see each other again as fully restored cars a again.

 13. I hope you can wait an few more years before you can be driven again.

   Have fun I get mad and sad and even talk to my 1960 eldo also, dale

[Bruce Reynolds # 18992]

Michael,

I usually find that when I am going to sell a car, it runs so sweetly that I am sure it is telling me that it doesnt want to go.

Bruce,
The Tassie Devil(le),
60 CDV